Insights

Is Fear a Friend or Foe?

Fear can keep us safe but when we give fear undeserved power it will keep us down and out. I think we can all agree that fear can be our friend when it keeps us from getting burned by fire or when it protects us by being afraid to play in traffic.  There are many legitimate fears that keep us safe but when does fear go too far?  Would we have ovens, stoves or heaters if we were always afraid to experiment and test fire because of fear?  Fear as our foe, the unrealized fear.  The fears that we often focus on are the ones that never happen.  It includes all of the, What Ifs.  What if I fail?  What if I get hurt?  What it they leave?  What If, can go on and on until you’re paralyzed, it can strangle you.  So many things we fear never happen.  Some statistics on line are as high as 90%.  90% of the things we worry about never happen.  Does that mean we’re living 10% of our lives?  10% of peace?  10% of excitement?  90% worry and safety?  I don’t have anything against being safe but if we’re trying to be safe from things that are very unlikely to happen we need to stop and think about, what we’re thinking about.  Here are 7 things that will help us tackle fear.

1. Stop your mind from obsessive thoughts about things that are unreasonable.

2. You cannot control anything. The only thing you have control over is you and sometimes I have found that I didn’t even do that well.

3. A lot of things in life we could not have prevented even if we knew they were coming. Don’t waste your time fretting about it.

4. Many things cannot be solved by you.

5. Perspective is a great tool to reset your mind.

6. There are practical things you can do to play it safe.

7. Trust in God is the antidote for fear.

1. Stop your mind from obsessive thoughts about things that are unreasonable.  I tell myself things like:  God’s got this.  I trust You.  I don’t worry.  God knows best.  It takes practice, but it changes my fear into trust.  I used to run to someone when disaster struck or fear grabbed me.  Now I run to my Bible app and ask God for help with the circumstances and with my mind.  When your thoughts focus on the fear it will bury you in anxiety, uncertainty, worry, panic, sleeplessness, you know this list goes on and on and on!  Focus on who God is and how He takes care of you.  Let Him worry about the problem.

2. You cannot control anything.  The only thing you have control over is you.  Fear can drive us into a panic of fixing.  We dream up a thousand different ways we can change something or fix it.  That’s when I have to hit the brakes and remind myself that I usually make it worse.  The thing about it is that we are usually dealing with people.  Everyone is different and whatever idea pops up from my brain will most likely not be what the other person had in mind.  Even worse it can trigger other fears.  For example… if I’m worried that my friend is mad at me over money I might decide that I need money.  Then I will fret and fuss over not having enough money.  Now with my brilliant thinking I have two things to worry about.  They can multiply like rats.  Refer to number 1.

 3. A lot of things in life we could not have prevented even if we knew they were coming. Don’t waste your time fretting about it. Imagine the things we could get done if we didn’t spend time worrying or waste time trying to avoid the things that we think might happen.  I’m a fixer, a problem solver.  I cannot count the times I’ve figured out every way to avoid a disaster or fix one only to see it play out completely different than all of my imaginations.  It’s like seeing shadows in your room at night only to flick on the light and there is nothing there.  The coat rack is not a robber and there was nothing in the corner waiting to bite you.  Only God knows what’s really lurking in the dark.  He’s the only one that can see what’s coming and from what direction.  I’ve learned to redirect my thought to focus on Him, the good things I have or the good place I’m at in the moment.  It’s hard not to look ahead into the future especially at this juncture in your life but trust God with it.  He says that tomorrow has enough worries of its own.  I also want to point out that you cannot fix yesterday.  Yesterday is a good snap shot to glace at and learn from but if you linger there you can destroy today or miss great things because you’re focused on the past.

 4. Many things cannot be solved by you. Sometimes bad things just happen. God has a habit of using them for good, like to grow our faith or our character.  What has been really hard for me to grasp is when other people make bad decisions and it seems like I pay their consequences.  That’s not fair!  I’ve been sharing with my friends that life is not fair but God is good.  We were never promised “fair” and no one else has a life full of “fair” either.  God promises to never leave us and to always stand with us but the effects of living in this broken world with hurt and broken people is everyone’s reality.  I’ve seen God do the impossible in my life and in the lives of those around me but only because there was an opportunity for Him to do His thing.

 5. Perspective is a great tool to reset your mind. Perspective is another powerful tool when we think about the things we’re thinking about. If you’re afraid you will lose your job remember that you were looking for a job when you found this one.  You might get a better job if you’re not consumed with the one you have now.  Let’s say you are afraid of getting sick.  Well, you’re not sick now and the last cold didn’t take you out.  If you stop stressing about being sick your immune system will be stronger because stress weakens it.  If you have a fear of flying and you have to fly somewhere, remind yourself that people fly on planes every day.  It is highly unlikely that your flight will have any problems.

 6. There are practical things you can do to play it safe, lessen fear and give yourself a little sense of security. If you worry about lost luggage on a flight, pack a change of clothes and a tooth brush in the carry on. That happens to be something I worry about and I have NEVER had lost luggage.  I still pack the carry on as if it would be all I have when I get to my destination, it makes me feel better.  If you’re worried about that job, put some money in savings so that if you did lose it you could pay bills for a month.  If you’re worried about a cold that’s going through the area, take some extra vitamins.  It is okay to plan for reasonable concerns.  Let’s do what we can and leave the rest in God’s capable hands.

 7. Trust in God is the antidote for fear. I have lived many years in the shadow of fear; unrealized fear, unreasonable fear and imagined fear. I have found that the antidote for fear is trust in God. Only God is completely trustworthy.  I can trust Him to take care of me whether I fall, fail or hurt.  Trusting Him gives me the courage and the peace to walk through fear.  It snuffs out the What Ifs and leaves calm.

This reminds me of the three Hebrew men in the Old Testament.  They were being thrown into a furnace for not bowing down in worship to the king of the land.  The three men turned to the king and let him know that God would deliver them from the king’s hand.  They made the point that if they didn’t get thrown into the fire, if they had to walk through the fire or if they died by the fire, God would take care of them.  It speaks to their faith, their trust that God has control over everything.  They were completely convinced that God was with them no matter what.

Once I put my trust in God what happens to me?  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a switch to flip on, it’s a process.  My trust in Him grows as I get to know Him and experience His care.  Circumstances that could make me feel like I’m drowning are now His problem because I trust Him.  I still trip and get caught up in it from time to time but I go back and remember the things He has already brought me through and done for me.  There have been so many times that He did things I could never have done or even thought of.  Refer back to number 1.

Fear will always be a part of our lives and emotions but if we let things go into God’s hands and shut down the lies and the What Ifs we are imagining, we will be able to take the next step in front of us. Let’s stop spending so much wasted time on worry and fear.  We will be okay because God’s got it!

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