Think about what you’re thinking about. Your thoughts will become words, attitudes and eventually actions. When we’re not paying attention to our thinking we usually think about negative things. Our default always seems to be worry, self doubt and self criticism.
Example: My friend had ONE answer when asked how he was doing or what was going on. “Tired,” accompanied with sad eyes and slouched shoulders. After repeating this saga over and over I stopped asking. I wanted to suggest things like, sleeping at night, less screen time or a nap. Maybe he wouldn’t be tired EVERY WAKING moment if he decided to do something about it. This was someone with no responsibilities outside of himself and a job. I was tired of him being tired. (Can you tell these are real events?) His own words affected the way he looked, the way he acted and the things he would do. I wonder how many opportunities he lost because he was tired. I’m not suggesting he should start lying, but for the love of interest, take a nap and change it up a little. There really is power in smiling when you don’t feel like it and saying you’re happy, good or chillin’. The word, “tired,” became a cloud over his head, an identity instead of a temporary condition.
What do you tell yourself?
We need to think about what we tell ourselves because we’ll believe it! Evan a small gesture from a young lady that she feels fat when she really doesn’t in order to get a compliment can turn into a habit that will turn on her in a bad way. One day she’ll wake up and believe it, possibly followed by an eating disorder or addiction.
Where does this self-talk come from?
Our self-talk can originate from old habits, family members or comments from friends but we CAN change it. Decide to do better. To do it better we need to think or meditate on that good thing. Start saying the good things. Before you know it you’ll believe it. It may take a little longer then we want but we probably believed the lies for a long, long time already.
We truly underestimate the value of our thoughts and words. I’ve read studies that show the brain actually changing when we stop the worry and negativity and dwell on positive things. The brain is powerful; it will affect your moods and your health. That’s all remarkable in itself but to think that I can change me by changing my thoughts, wow! It’s possible to get through depression, anxiety, fear and a list of other difficult things by thinking about the right things.
I have a few things that I live by, mottoes, if you will. The one at the top of my list is to have an attitude of gratitude. Start there and you’ll get a taste of what I’m talking about. Make a list of some things you’re grateful for and focus on it. It can be a short list of different things or a long list regarding a specific thing. Gratitude will open your eyes to the positive side. You’ll start to realize you have more than you thought you did.
Let’s not compare!
I can be happy for my friends’ new car because I’m already grateful for the one I have. Gratitude also helps put comparison in its place. I’m not you and you’re not me. I’m glad I’m me with all of my baggage and all of the detours I’ve had so I can be happy for you or cry with you, without it being about me. I wish I understood this so many years earlier. I feel like there were so many wasted opportunities, emotions, money, relationships all because I was stuck in comparison or negative self-talk.
Encourage yourself to be your own good friend. As you take on these new thoughts it will show up on your face and in your attitude. You’ll attract good friends because you’re a good friend to yourself. What kind of friend would you be if you kept telling yourself you can’t do it, or you’re not smart enough or you’re too short? I don’t want any “friends” around me saying things like that.
Think about what you’re thinking about.
This phrase will help you redirect. The Bible says to take every thought captive. I really like that word picture. Grab the negative thought, throw it down and start thinking good things. For some of you this can seem like moving a mountain but I’ve seen people late into their twilight years changing their thoughts after a lifetime of negative attitudes. You can do it, one thought, one sentence at a time.
This will help you in many areas of your life, comparison was just one example. This will help you in regards to gossip, jealousy, fear, feeling sorry for yourself and sadness to name a few more. Think about what you’re thinking about also reminds me to be intentional about it. Do it on purpose. I’m not just a blank piece of paper for people to write whatever they want on it. I have control so I should make sure it says what I want it to say. Your thoughts have great power over your feeling, attitudes and actions so take control of your life and …. think about what you’re thinking about!